What would you expect in the life of a caretaker? To be able to give, I must accept this wonderful gift. I’ve learned that caring for others can be as addictive as drinking alcohol. When we answer the needs of our loved ones, we experience intoxication due to the relief we feel emotionally. Despite the fact that it never lasts, we feel loved when we help someone.
In spite of the good this can do, principally among those who are looked after by the caretaker, so long as this is continually doused by another shot of self-sacrifice. Therefore the care itself becomes a drink by which we temporarily numb a worthlessness that won’t go away in the long run.
The tension builds until what others need is expected beyond what is true, and then, without any real need being expressed. Moreover, an anxiety to respond builds that can only be relieved by offering or doing something. There is always the fear that you cannot be loved unless you do something for someone else. Like bottles behind a bar, the caretaker cannot resist the needs of others, no matter how hard he or she tries. When I call a loved one away from home, I have experienced the same thing.
It can be agonizing for me to decide whether to call even when no one expects me to. Many times, I will call to register my love in spite of the discomfort that comes with not registering it. Though caretaking appears quite generous, it is very selfish, and its self-centered nature prevents genuine compassion from flourishing. As alcoholics enlist sponsors to love them for who they are, we should enlist as rigorous a program of recovery to recover from our addictions.
Choosing to believe that each of us is worthy of love, as we are, is the remedy of spirit that allows for true giving within oneself. You seem to meet your loved one more than halfway when you think of them. Self-aplomb is absolutely vital for the life of a caretaker, otherwise, you may lose your motivation.
Just think about what motivates you to take the extra step. Think, what motivates you to make the extra mile? Think about how they would love you if you did nothing. Think about how you would feel if you did nothing. Take a deep breath and wait until you feel a surge of love rising within you. So being the life of a caretaker is not easy until you are mentally and physically fit.