Yes, it is extremely unbearable that your first cry is the hardest part of your life. When your own life seems to be ruled by powerful emotions running amok, it can be difficult to focus on building better lives for children with special needs.
In the midst of winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer. —Albert Camus
A diagnosis of special needs can bring with it a wide range of strong and normal emotions, including grief, fear, sadness, anger, disbelief, stress, fatigue, and disappointment. The feeling of being on the verge of insanity can become overwhelming.
It’s been there. That was felt. We survived! It’s an emotional rollercoaster being a parent of a child with special needs. When a child is diagnosed with a special need and developmental milestones are delayed or unrealized, it’s critical to express all those powerful emotions parents sometimes experience.
Sitting up, walking, talking, brushing your teeth, and dressing are all milestones that most families take for granted. It is therefore important to be able to eat pizza without choking, stay out of the hospital, sleep through the night, ride a bike, swim at the beach, and take ballet classes. Besides playing an instrument, hitting a home run in Little League, and starring in the play, he also performs in a school play.
Forming meaningful friendships and being able to write your own name are other benefits. As well as demonstrating excellent behavior in a social setting, as well as making the honor roll at your neighborhood school.
There are many other things you can achieve down the road, such as getting a driver’s license, becoming a prom queen or groom, playing sports, attending college and getting a job, Living independently or in a group home while getting married, having children, and having children. While incorporating new dreams and expectations for your child, you may have to grieve some big and some small parenting dreams that you once had.
Whether it is the death of a child or a divorce, you may be one of those families dealing with the most devastating loss of all. I know because my family went through it. The special needs parenting thing wasn’t supposed to be easy, no one said it was.
Now that you know why grief is such an important part of parenting a child with special needs, you can probably see why grief is part of a lifelong sorting-out process. The good news is that you can recognize these grief stages and anticipate them as they approach.
By addressing them in this way, you will be able to move on and become more confident in the uncertain parenting territory that lies ahead. Ignore grief’s impact on your life if you think you can ignore it. It is very difficult to parent a child with special needs without feeling a sense of loss. Don’t be afraid to seek help and connect with other parents of children with similar challenges.
Connecting with other parents provides unmatched healing, and they often provide valuable networking opportunities, useful resources, and excellent professional referrals. Don’t delay in taking advantage of this valuable resource. The act of crying is not a sign of weakness.
When you release all of your emotions, you can prevent yourself from getting stuck in an ugly and destructive parenting place that you don’t want to stay in for too long. Your sense of loss can be healed if you choose to do so. In this post, we give you permission to talk about sensitive issues that we’d rather not discuss our children’s special needs so that you won’t live in a permanent state of denial. And then move on. It is difficult to move forward when you are stuck in the past.
Never stop moving forward! Perhaps it’s time to throw out all the old, familiar rule books on child development. You will be tasked with writing your own parenting guidelines from now on. Don’t let go of dear old Dr. Spock, though! You can use it as a parenting resource for years to come.
Our second story about parenting a child with autism is included in this chapter as a result of the rapid increase in the number of children with autism. In this case, the diagnosis is more severe than in the Lewis story. It is the family’s priority to raise their children in a dignified manner in every case. Yes, it is very understandable that your first cry is the hardest moment of anyone’s life.
